Exploring London Non-stop... North + West

Saturday doesn't seem like a very good day to go out (although i still did) cause

+made a lot of wrong calls like getting off the bus too soon to walk another 20mins, or getting off too late and walk back another half an hour..
+got caught in the rain 3 times (sunny weather while in the bus then the minute i step out it pours until i get into the next bus) my friend even called me the rain-bringer..
+walking with soaked jeans, socks and boots isn't fun, especially up or down hill with mud or pebbles and rain water flowing like mini rivers..
+getting lost again and again cause i don't have a smart phone with sat nav (need to use brain navigation) so for a few times i overshoot or took the wrong direction only to run across the road and take the next bus back to where i started and try to find a different route or walk among housing areas as short cuts and ended up in cul de sacs
+doesn't mean its written XXX Park or XXX Gardens its a park or garden to stroll, it could just be some housing area, so upon seeing so much greenery, i went deeper and deeper into people's housing area and even ended up at outside their beautiful lawn. darn

so what happened after 5.5hours of exploring north, west and whatever in between of london and taking at least 10 bus rides ranging from just-1-stop-rides to overshot-by-5-stops-rides..

Parliament hill at Hampstead Heath. don't attempt if you don't know the way. its beautiful and all, but not on a raining day and being lost! the surrounding area feels like villages or the outskirts..

supposedly its nice to see sunrise esp since there's a hill where you can see part of london, but being drenched and juggling with an umbrella and a camera with numb wet fingers, i wasn't too keen to climb up already..

came across a farmers market at Parliament Hill.. its a pretty small one with about 15 booths.

fresh veges & seafood, huge meat pies, oven-fresh pastries cakes .. quite similar to other markets i suppose, perhaps its just a small market to cater for the neighbourhood unlike Borough/Spitalfields which are big and very touristic.

then its south to Camden. today i must have entered several Oxfams, Hospices & Charity shops to look for bargains for a change from Oxford Street, didn't find anything to bring home though.

further west for a stroll along Little Venice (Regents Canal basically) along Paddington, Maida Vale, Warwick Avenue, Edgware Road.. (under the rain! brrr)

then its further south, passing by Queensway, Bayswater & Notting Hill Gate to Kensington..

Kensington Gardens, another huge Royal Park besides St James, Green Park, Hyde Park, Richmond, Greenwich, Regents & Primrose Hill and Bushy Park at Hampton... yet to try the Orangey Restaurant here.

upon leaving the park i got lost again (ya whats new, i hardly get lost when walking in East London but here, i feel like a lost lamb in an unfamiliar land) when i came across Ottolenghi which looks like they serve very good pretty pastries & cakes and even salads and other savouries! maybe i should try the restaurant downstairs one of these days..

then i came across Holland Park which has the beautiful Kyoto Gardens but since it was already 5 hours on my feet, i could not bear to walk another hour so my photo here doesn't do it any justice, please visit the website to see the real thing.

finally, can mark a few more to-visit-before-i-leave landmarks in London.. wonder why i went to Little Venice or Kyoto Gardens anyway since i been to the Venice Twice and visited Korakuen, one of the top 3 Gardens in Japan! i guess London is so huge and impossible to finish exploring that i feel like a tourist here too.

passing by Royal Albert Hall and Marble Arch

Since i have already re-explored London for 5.5 hours hard core (would have been only 4 hours if i have a smart phone.. and burning extra 550 calories? i forgot how to count already) Now its finally time to indulge-gastronomically for 5.5 hours hard core as well (and spend £55?!?!) ..

desperation

yes. there are times that situations push us into making irrational decisions we wouldn't think twice about. like that thursday morning. everything was going as planned, until one unprepared-for minor predicament took place. there was no plan B for this.

mr sarcastic told me "5 minutes, and if u can't get this done.."

aaargh, even he got his hands in and couldn't get it done.. "Re-Book!" was the last thing mr sarcastic said as he left..

Re-book. just One Word but that..
-means i can't discharge this patient who i have seen for nearly 2 years now and have taken up a lot of my time with no results..
-means i would have to reshuffle all my upcoming sessions for the next Month by calling up another 4 patients at least to reschedule and push them all back
-means my patient herself who wants the treatment done right away can't get it done, especially since she was desperate cause she would be on holiday for the next 5 months (i better be damn well graduated by then and not waiting for her to return for treatment!)
-means.. i can't rebook.. not that i don't want to, i just can't..

so many things ran through my already-clouded mind that at that moment, any means of rationality has already dissipated..

i saw the patient's mouth wide open.. my hands and tools are available.. too much at stake due to lack of 5 minutes..

without thinking twice, i took up my tools and try again..

3 minutes passed although it felt like forever cause it still didn't work.. it must work.. why? i must get this done, if not..

"Helen."

i was stunned as if i got caught cheating in a test.. and as i looked up, i saw mr sarcastic looking down at me. it was definitely a first for him to call my name to stop me dead in my tracks.. tutors normally don't remember me, what more remember my name.. i bet if he knows how to pronounce my full name he would have said it out like my mum..

he didn't say anything else but shook his head slowly with eyes of disappointment, and he watched me slowly as i put down my tools and seated the patient upright again.

the patient exclaimed her worries first due to today's failure, and mr sarcastic assured her saying that "she (meaning me!) would move heaven & earth to get this sorted out.."

move heaven & earth? you mean cancelling the other 4 patients just to attend to one? means putting my final cases on hold? means pushing my requirements to one side? means not being able to sign up to sit for finals? means not being able to graduate? will heaven & earth move then??

i knew i was in for it. it was bad enough previously to Not-Know-Stuff but now i have taken a step further and Not-Listen-to-Instructions.

don't ask me what the you-are-so-dead-lecture was about, partially cause i don't remember where i put my face in embarrassment and partially cause my brain was still digesting the fact that i had to rebook-anyway-so-how-now-brown-cow to minimize damage to all my other patients and my own stake at graduating from dental school This June..

when i tried to explain myself, he replied without looking at me but at the paperwork instead "did it ever cross your mind to consult me first? ..just a thought.."

consult you first? isn't that like, asking permission to cheat in a test?

then i remembered a mixture of words like 'just when i thought you were improving, you went ahead and did that.. didn't stop to think outside the box.. stupidity.. cause more damage.. ' and other terms or metaphors to reflect what would have happened if he did not stop me in the nick of time..

"sorry" was all i mumbled at the end of the day which i doubted he heard, so much for whatever impression he has for me now or assessment/grades he would reward me..

that afternoon my coursemates were telling me about how other thick-skinned colleagues would be selfish enough to step on their comrades in order to secure their own graduation, and then i realized i might not be that much different from them anyway..

i hate to think that i could be pushed to do things which i won't normally do.. does that mean i am not strong enough to withstand pressure or competitiveness? that i would allow desperation to drive me to do things i would normally preach against on another day?

but.. what if the only way to graduate is to take the risk and cut corners or close one eye and do the unspeakable.. would you be desperate enough to do it?

Eating during Lent

on Wednesday afternoon after lectures at Barbican, this random trio (actually menaka) felt like having japanese for lunch which was strongly supported by a sushi-fan, fatiha, and suddenly i found myself sitting in a japanese restaurant, Ribon, during lunch in the middle of the week. this place seems to do good takeaway, but one thing for sure, there's loads of japanese businessman having lunch here!!

sushi sushi and sushi.. they seemed to enjoy it, but i wont know if its really yummy coz i had the wakame udon (japanese wheat vermicilli with seaweed in soup).

even tonight when i had chinese takeaway (due to overlaziness to cook) i need to make do with vegetarian spring rolls and spicy egg plants with more-than-usual-amount-of-my-rice whilst i watch my just-as-lazy-to-cook-comrade enjoy the roast duck, kung po chicken & prawn crackers >_<' my diet nowadays consists of lots of carbos & cakes muffins cookies and lots of non-choc junk food (and sometimes fruits and vegs) friends are telling me that i need to watch my vegetarian diet and add beans/tofu/etc but surely having seafood/meat on Sundays alone is enough to supplement whatever protein/essential amino acids which i need? hmm.. and there's loads of chocs in my room which i am waiting to eat!! (not complaining.. just waiting for Sunday, as usual)

9/40 Days of Lent today, 31 more days to go

dear dejected helen

why the sad face?

sometimes the world seems so bright

sometimes the future looks so promising

sometimes everything seems to go so wrong
and you're back in the beginning

sometimes everything is going downhill
sometimes you want to run from it all
just need to hit the pause button
before it drives you up the wall

being lost trying to find your place
in a society which has already set its pace
sometimes you try to find your true self
although unacceptable by everyone else

get a grip of yourself
regardless how cruel life treats you
for everyday is a fresh new chance
to get up again and start anew

xoxo,
cheery helen
on a brighter day

Looking for Solace in Tea & Scones 6

Monday afternoon: Cream tea set £5 at Market Coffee House, Brushfield Street near Spitalfields Market, a nice cozy woody family-owned place. the scones were nice and crisp as well.

There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea.
~Henry James, The Portrait of a Lady

Another novelty is the tea-party, an extraordinary meal in that, being offered to persons that have already dined well, it supposes neither appetite nor thirst, and has no object but distraction, no basis but delicate enjoyment.
~Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, The Physiology of Taste

Tea should be taken in solitude. ~C.S. Lewis

Remnants of Gluttony: Chinese New Year in London

so typical isn't it? after going vegetarian for 4 days, its time to stock up on 'nutrients' (aka loads of fat) on Sunday with my good ol' favourite lobster noodle at Mandarin Kitchen, Queensway! had been dreaming about it for a couple of days.. (in addition to yee sang & dim sum..)

starts of baby squid deep fried in salt & pepper which was ok, cold drunken chicken which wasn't fantastic and sides of asparagus which i love coz i like asparagus & beef as well..

and the star, two portions of lobster noodles! yummmy! had it the first time way back in 1st/2nd year and i still remember it till now.

then its off to Trafalgar Square for the London Chinese New Year parade.. boy, was Chinatown packed with lion dances here and there, you practically can't walk as people push you around, kinda like how it was during new years eve countdown when you just gotta follow the current from the human traffic..

after all that, i couldn't believe i still have space for dinner: duck & char siew tapao-ed from Chinatown and home-cooked vegetables, sambal, soup and fruits, buffet-style (had 4 rounds *burp*)
thankssss again for all the yummy food today!

another week of clinics & classes, and soon it would be Chap Goh Mei! time to throw some oranges!

taboos

i read the referral letter and patients note briefly before calling the patient into the consulting room for history & examination..

..paraplegic waist down.. on wheelchair.. shot in the spine ..

the patient smiled at me as he wheeled himself into the small room, and i realized how small the consultant room is having both a dental chair and a wheelchair in it. he was trying to position himself so that i could still walk around him and examine his teeth.

"We wouldn't be able to treat you here if you cannot get onto the dental chair and as we don't have the facilities, we would have to refer you.." was what the consultant said.

when the consultant left, the patient then told me that he could get onto the dental chair as that was how he got onto his bed every night. i asked him to try and i watched in awe as he shifted his lower body slowly but firmly onto the dental chair from the wheelchair with his own strong hands.

once the consultant came in again i told her that the patient could get into the dental chair, and the consultant exclaimed "Oh you didn't need to do it now, but yes we can treat you here then" and the consultant turned to me and asked "Did you not asked earlier if he could get onto the dental chair?" She must have seen me examining the patient in the wheelchair instead of the dental chair.

"No.. i.. didn't.."

and the consultant shot me a look as she wrote down the outcome form for the patient's next appointment for treatment.

the truth it, i didn't think of asking. i sort of ASSUMED. even when i asked for his medical history like a heart attack etc, i received a funny look as he looked at his legs and i had to quickly rephrase "no.. no.. besides your physical condition, anything wrong internally like your organs.. heart? lungs? liver? diseases..?"

i felt ashamed in a way . i didn't mean to underestimate his capability to mount onto the dental chair but i just did not what to ask as i assumed the topic would be 'taboo'. what if he takes it wrongly and thought that i was being insensitive or plain stupid?

i suppose i thought that would be how i would have reacted to the 2 big D-taboo topics: di*t and d*ntistry. anyone who knows me well enough knows i (really really) hate the di*t-word, only because people keep assuming that i am di*ting although i am not and its tiring trying to explain.

its like asking an ex-convict out of prison, cooking in the kitchen "you're holding a kitchen knife, are you still stealing or killing now?" or seeing an ex-smoker after rehab lighting up a birthday cake "is that a lighter? are you still smoking? you Must have!"

doesn't that give an annoyed-because-you-are-judging-me-from-my-past-so-cant-you-let-that-go-and-stop-bringing-it-up-and-let-me-have-a-new-start-now feeling?

maybe i'm just being over-sensitive.

that's how i felt when i get too lazy to cook or not feeling as hungry, maybe its due to my course, maybe its my work, or maybe cause my food-stock was running low. once i had very little rice remaining so i just cooked whatever was left and i got the comment "so little rice? are you D-I-*-T-I-N-G?"

yes, it is frustrating. di*ting is like a mistake i don't want to ever speak of again, so please stop slamming the word into my face.

d*ntistry is another taboo, but i confess i speak of it myself sometimes.
yesterday morning i was really tired and did crappy dental work which the tutor wasn't too pleased about. alright, i'm sorry, i made some wrong calls sometimes, thinking that i could work a lot faster even though when i was alone with a not-easy kid in a dental chair.

while walking home with 2 colleagues they brought up the taboo: r*quirements issue again, which they have mostly completed (but i was not even half way) and then they turned to ask about mine.

"you haven't done much right? you want this patient? i have etc etc.." and the other chipped in,"i have this patient who needs this this.. you want?"

the truth is although i only did half of what they have done, i have double the number of patients they have (only cause i don't have the time to complete the treatments unlike my colleagues!) and we had to finish up & discharge all our patients by May, regardless of whether we have 3 patients or 30 patients. it was bad enough having a long-list of patients of which i don't even have enough time to see even half of them, what more to complete stupid r*quirements .

"no, i don't want anything. don't talk to me about d*ntistry." that was enough to shut them up.

maybe i am being in a foul or crappy mood. i understand sometimes people do not mean it the way i heard it. which is why i rather make these topics taboo to minimize misunderstandings.

worried friends might be asking 'aren't you eating well? what's wrong? no money to buy food? no time to cook?' but i take it as 'stop judging me, i am NOT di*ting!! not everyone has the time/food/company/effort/motivation to cook a complete meal every night..'

or concerned colleagues might be saying 'you need my patients to do treatment on? i have a few you can take on for your r*quirements' but i take it as 'stop trying to offload your list-of-only-4-patients onto me when i already have 10 patients i need to get rid off and please don't get me started on how little r*quirements i have done when you have already finished more than you already did!'

reminds me of the time someone was saying 'Oh i already did 11 RCTs and i have a patient who needs 9 RCTs, i don't have the time to see this patient! helen, do you know how many clinics we have left?' imagine how it felt like being me, who only did 3 at that time (you need 10 to graduate). makes me feel like stuffing my fist down his throat.

so yes, i kinda assumed some stuff are just unmentionable, like how parents would shush their naive children, and i thought asking the wheelchair-patient if he could move onto the dental chair was one of them. oddly enough, he was smiling most of the time and did not seem to take any of the matter to heart.

maybe that's how it should be. maybe i should take things lightly and laugh them off instead. but sometimes it can't be helped. like getting a call from my finals patient (have not even started with his dentures yet!) who couldn't make it for next week's appointment and would be off holidaying till end of march. Did i also mention sign-ups (deadline to complete r*quirements to sit for Finals in June) is early April?

no, u didn't hear me mentioning it. cause its taboo.

Lent: the 40 Days of Change 2

my two Chinese New Year cards for this year, and a rareeeeee sight, my 1st ang pow in UK!! kamsiah & gong xi fatt chai again..

Tuesday was Pancake Day, the day before Lent (40 Days leading up to Easter excluding Sundays) where people fasted so they used up their eggs, milk & flour to make pancakes. definitely should be marking the end to my week-long-gluttony (before i re-start it again soon..)

round 1: some mini pancakes with raisins which i cooked at 530pm, made them from scratch the american-style using jamie oliver's usa pancake recipe and had them with chocolate spread..

round 2: got abit lazy and its 10pm so made ready-mixed-just-add-water pancakes for supper and had them with butter & honey this time.. flipped & tossed & flipped. it's my 4th round of pancakes since the Weekend, every time with different toppings!

"Lent is the period of 40 days which comes before Easter in the Christian calendar. Beginning on Ash Wednesday, Lent is a season of reflection and preparation before the celebrations of Easter. By observing the 40 days of Lent, Christians replicate Jesus Christ's sacrifice and withdrawal into the desert for 40 days. Lent is marked by fasting, both from food and festivities.

Whereas Easter celebrates the resurrection of Jesus after his death on the cross, Lent recalls the events leading up to and including Jesus' crucifixion by Rome. This is believed to have taken place in Roman occupied Jerusalem.

The Christian churches that observe Lent in the 21st century (and not all do significantly) use it as a time for prayer and penance. Only a small number of people today fast for the whole of Lent, although some maintain the practice on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. It is more common these days for believers to surrender a particular vice such as favourite foods or smoking. Whatever the sacrifice it is a reflection of Jesus' deprivation in the wilderness and a test of self-discipline."

to refrain from meat of any sorts,
from poultry, from livestock, from creatures of the sea;

to abstain from chocolate,
the favourite delicacy, the ultimate sin;
to forbid from 3 nightly hours of internet,
the life-stealer, the time-waster;
to bible study & read scriptures,
to pray,
to repent,
to reflect,
to sacrifice,
to prepare for Easter

today, Ash Wednesday, marks Day 1/40 of Lent.

towards the End of Gluttony: Valentine's

yes, love is in the air..

not in the air i breathe though, but being with my love ones who Have their Special love ones, seeing bouquets of roses, boxes of chocolates & heart-shaped cookies were enough to make me feel that love is in the air..

the love-filled Valentine's market at Piccadilly Gardens, Manchester

Valentine's lunch (and also 1st day of CNY) was at a bar called Varsity with burgers, curly fries (everyone's favourite) and cakes with the Loves of my life =P
(yes, very odd way to celebrate V'tines or Cny)

Valentine's Dinner was back in london at Coast Dining, a seafood restaurant at Camden

free champagne & a fresh oyster, wild assorted mushrooms on toast and hot shellfish selection of oyster mussel king prawn scallop & razor clam, salmon en croute with winter vegetables (meaning salmon in a pastry!) and dessert was pavlova with creme fraiche

while on our way back we passed by Teachi Chinese Restaurant which had lion dance.. tong tong chiang!!

and so that was how i spend my valentine's, with my loved ones from london, manchester & edinburgh :)

happy Valentine's day again,
regardless of whether you love it or hate it,
whether you are single or in a relationship,
cause its after all, just another day like the other 364 days where you show the people you care how much you care for them...

at the Peak of Gluttony: Chinese New Year

last weekend i spent Chvalentinese New Year 2010 in Manchester (again, and again).. as soon as i arrived, pei pei and i went straight to Arndale Shopping Centre to satisfy our addiction.. no, NOT shopping.. we were eyeing the Food Court! the food court & stalls around the place looks so Malaysian!

cream tea at parched tea bar..
(Looking for Solace in Tea & Scones 4)

ai ling came and joined us in our endless feast including fried udon, chicken & mushroom pie and banana & chocolate pancakes (definitely an overdose of scones & pancakes)

we definitely won't miss out our favourite Wong Wong.. this time we not only having bubble tea & egg tarts but a few more buns like polo pao with char siew, tuna floss seaweed rolls, char siew sou, ham & egg and custard buns..

just when you think we are already SO FULL with all THAT food, i passed by a patisserie place called Druckers offering cream tea as well and we hop right in straight away for their swiss scone, tea & banofee eclairs .. very similar to Patisserie Valerie, i think its their sister branch.. poor manchesterians could not understand this scone-addiction and endless-mindless gluttony..
(Looking for Solace in Tea & Scones 5)

and minutes later at 5.00pm (YES so EARLY right?) on Chinese New Year Eve, we went to Yang Sing, Chinatown for dinner.. there were 3-table-fulls of friends!!

we had so much food i refused to admit regret for eating so much earlier.. started off with peking duck pancake, the duck was not the shredded type which i expected..

prawns, chicken, tauyu pork, steam fish, pork ribs, mushroom with kailan & tou miao vege ending with fruits.. overwhelmed with so much Good Chinese Food i had to unbutton my pants & stretch my tummy muscles again.. Oh well, its Chinese New Year right, should eat like a King to mark the new year with prosperity, good health & wealth!

happy faces with overfed tummies

the next morning we went over to a friends place for 1st Day of CNY visiting and they were making nian gou (sweet sticky cake)!! yummies! we had chinese new year titbits as well and pancakes (abit advance le) and we sat and watch chinese concerts on TV like back in Malaysia! Gong Xi Fatt Chai, ang pow le?!?

and when i arrived in London, a friend who's parents are visiting gave my Chinese New Year requests: bak gua, pineapple tarts, keropok, peanut cookies, prawn rolls, sesame cookies, nut cookies, green cookies, almond cookies, pork and chicken floss etc.. its like at least 10 proper large red-lid containers of CNY cookies not including snacks that Don't come in red containers..

without realizing it (or just plain ignorance & denial).. the pounds from my wallet flew into my tummy.. is that a way to show prosperity this Chinese New Year?

CNY videos to lighten the mood:

Petronas


McDonald


Panasonic

in the Midst of Gluttony

once again i feel like being a tourist in London these days. looking through my checklist of places-to-go-in-London, no.1 on the list was not too far away..

Tower of London.. entrance fees is a whooping £17! my advice, get the 2-for-1 offers.. but you need a National Rail train ticket travelling into London to claim for it

first stop: Lunch at New Armouries Cafe. i think i am rather impulsive that day, paying 17quid to enter an attraction and spend the next hour in the cafe!! but hunger calls, just gotta answer it.. *rubs palms*

fish & chips with mash and an afternoon tea set, this time with an additional slice of pistachio cake, scones & hot choc instead of tea *rubs belly*
(Looking for Solace in Tea & Scones 3)

sights and sounds around the fortress. some places would not allow photography, hence just the outdoor photos. and food photos, obviously.

the best part has to be the Crown Jewels where there's full of blinding sparklies on thrones, crowns and the sorts. the prisoner tower was interesting too.

next stop: St Paul's Cathedral. The first and Only time i've been in this cathedral was during Christmas as a fresher 5 years ago (Dec 2005!) but i haven been in as a tourist yet. opposite is the Millennium Bridge and Tate Modern.

the cathedral is one of the biggest and most majestic that i've ever seen, after the St Peter's Basillica in Rome perhaps... the dome is really high up as well and gives a panoramic view of London. had to quickly climb up the 259 steps up the Whispering Gallery as it closes at 4pm. it is called as such cause a whisper against its wall at any point is audible to a listener with an ear held to the wall at any other point around the gallery.

well, first of all there were several tourists around so perhaps i could not hear the whispers due to the interferences, but once there are no tourists in between you and your communicator and you face each other and whisper into the wall, u can really hear the other person! its like a mini echo that vibrates across the gallery and even when it reaches you it seems equally as loud as it was spoken... fascinating!

then its an addition *huff puff*152 steps up the Golden Gallery where you get the breath-taking view of London.. well, the steps were too bad since i climbed the Monument just few days ago, but wearing 3-4 layers and rising to the freezing air which was soooo windy makes it harder..

watching the sunset from St Paul's Cathedral, definitely a must-do in London

then its exploring the cafe and restaurant at St Paul's, two great spots for afternoon teas! yummiesssssss

finally i got to ride on the old bus 15, the Routemaster! there aren't many of these old buses left in London, the types that you can just hop onto the bus by the pole! i had to have a taste of this old double-decker cause i watched a scene where a man ran and jumped onto the back of the Routemaster, holding onto a pole.. cant remember which movie it was..

then it was good old Chinatown with full of Chinese New Year decorations and of course, CNY titbits!

the heavy fish & chippies with afternoon tea meals was stretching my belt & purse, but i found an interesting sushi takeaway place in Leicester Square called Yoshino where the sushi isn't too expensive so its takeaway time with good old 4seasons duck rice!

alrighty now, sort of celebrated Chinese New Year & Valentine's in London with lots of food & sightseeing (and cream teas!) so next stop, Manchester, with more and more food (and cream teas!) when will i get out of this phase of scones & tea?!?!