Selamat Hari Raya and Happy Eid to all my muslim friends out there, (its Raya on Tues for UK and Saudi; Wed for Msia!).. at least this is Something london ppl have first being 7/8 hours behind malaysia.
and happy cooking kari, rendang, ketupat, gulai, nasi lemak, satay.. etc for me to makan.. can't wait!!
one of the few raya songs i know (and was listening to it last nite during pre-raya gossip time with my galpals... keke)
P.U.S.H ...That was what my good friend told me when the rascals back in early secondary school hid my pencil case.. i bet i mentioned many times before of how i was a favourite target by the naughty bullies.
P.U.S.H meant Pray Until Something Happens. I prayed. We hunted for it. Of coz we found it. and i am still using it till now.
Recently the requirement of 5 fillings by October was bugging me alot. in my 3-years-history in dental school, i did just ONE. since i've found out about it i have gotten 7 new pimples, pressed them and scarred my face. and sleepless night. lost focus in studies.
the thing about patients is it's all about luck. u either get patients who need fillings, or u don't. nothing else u can do. so at times like this all i can do is P.U.S.H. every night.
Saturday afternoon a comrade in scotland confirmed that she would come down to london for 2 days and lend me 2 of her teeth that needed fillings. i was thrilled, not only to fulfill requirements but to have her company. and if u r reading this, thanks! (don wana advertise ur name in case u malu u bergigi lubang.. keke)
So that leaves me down to 2 more to do. How?
During clinics today i was cleaning my patient's teeth when something got caught in her back tooth.. little did i know.. a Hole! my tutor told me what the next treatment plan was.. "Get an xray to see how deep the hole is and Patch it!"
WAH!!! Another filling??? Out of the Blue! Thank God!! it's like a miracle!!
Exhilarated that i called up 3 galfriends to share the good news! imagine 3 years can do 1 only, suddenly 3 days come up with 3!! BUT cannot celebrate yet until i get them done and graded, still alot of obstacles but pray that it all runs smoothly! *fingers crossed*
Possibly.. ONE more filling to go.. maybe Tomorrow?
P.U.S.H! P.U.S.H! P.U.S.H! never doubt the power of Prayer.
Normally, unless i open my mouth, ppl wouldn't know i am from Malaysia.
Today, i went out with menaka and fatiha to the Buckingham Palace's State Rooms. That made us a multiracial trio immediately:
it was shouting Malaysia everywhere we went! Perhaps usually we go out in a big group of +/- 10 so it wasn't Very obvious, and sometimes in a group the malays might walk together or the chinese might walk together, not racist or cliquey, it just happens when u share the same culture, common belief and delicacies.
Scene 1: A malay dentist fresher saw us and told us 'Wah.. so Muhibbah!' (muhibbah means living together in harmony.. i think? my melayu karat dy..) That is when we realized we were a representative of each race. just nice. i guess in malaysia u don't see it very often..
soaking up the sun outside the palace.. the 3 malaysians
Scene 2: We were walking out of the palace when we bumped into aNother Malaysian who works there! she was taking psycology in middlesex uni. She called us out 'Hey! r u from Malaysia?' and of coz we looked at each other thinking Duh..
We chitchatted with her for quite a while (she must b bored at work and talking about home always feels good!) and she said we were the Nicest Malaysians she've ever Met! the many other Malaysians she met while working just say Hi he-he and walked off and the poor girl was thinking Why don't they come and talk to me??
Scene 3: While taking pics of the Palace we bumped into a white tourist taking pictures. He talked to us suddenly 'Thailand? Indon?' and i said back 'Malaysia!'
He looked at each of us and mumbled 'Indian.. Malay.. Chinese.. oh yes.. Malaysia...'
in some way i feel quite bangga (proud) also that we manage to show ppl how harmonious we are.. and to represent 1/3.. inilah Malaysia.
Malay-Chinese-Indian. 3 races hanging out in harmony in Central London, thousands of miles away from home where there's havoc with many racial hate and bitter sentiments.. i dont like to talk about what's going on back home coz its not what i was brought up to believe in although it's true and it's really happening.. why can't it be as simple as this?
i attempted the Cardiovascular lecture notes on Friday night at 10pm. Barely 1 hour and 1 page later, i dozed off..
and woke up at 330am. worried-striken. ended up rolling in bed. tried the 2nd page of the lecture note. dozed off by end of page.
and woke up at 500am. continued 3rd page of lecture note. dozed off soon after.. (lecture notes have always been the best sleeping pill)
and woke up at 600am, starving (even after dinner And supper) needed a bowl of cereal to sleep this time (strongly not advised by dentists)
and woke up at 930am, with body aches. the sun is too bright now. need to draw the curtains.
11am. 12hours later, but i forgot wad i read 3 pages ago and i felt like i didn't get any sleep at all. i'll hav to go thru the 3 pages of the 20-page lecture notes again, only 1 out of the 23 lectures for human health, not to mention there's osce as well. oh did i mention this is only part of another course i am taking, dentistry is it? i remembered that when i woke up at 3am i got several sms and i replied all, dunno why the sms worried me as well that i dreamt of each and every person who sms me and what their replies were.. (negative replies of coz) only to wake up the last time, checking that there's either no replies or the replies were positive..
Sleep deprivation can cause aching muscles, daytime drowsiness and naps, excessive daytime sleepiness, decreased mental activity and concentration, derealization, dark circles under eyes, headache, impatience, irritability, lucid dreaming (once sleep resumes), memory lapse or loss, weight gain, severe yawning.. so much for dimsum for lunch and badminton in the afternoon.. sleep deprivation has stolen my Saturday now.. at Least finish the cardiovascular lecture??
This has to stop but How? the tough requirements keep replaying in my head. a colleague told me yesterday "Why worry about something out of your control? What's the point? It's better you do something about what u can control, ur studies!!"
i learn to accept being alone. to be in my own room. to ovening my own dinner. to need not explain myself to people. to have nothing to hide, and nothing to lose. to have noone responsible for, and responsible to. to have noone to care for. to ignore being avoided, ignored, unappreciated, used, abused.
there is a difference of being alone and being lonely. being lonely is when u want company. being alone is when company doesn't want u.
+having both my fingers bitten on, hard +cleaning the teeth of a snoring patient who keeps closing her mouth. be careful not to get bitten again. twice shy, u know. +holding an injection needle with patient waving her hands around just centimetres away from it +patient broke out in Loud Laughters While i was injecting her, causing me to take out the needle and go back in again +still able to talk while i was digging her tooth out, and when i take my hand out, talk even more that it took another 3mins before i resume +Laughs even When the tutor puts great force to get the tooth out
Lesson of the day: don't clean my teeth, i bite! and extractions are funny, don't u think?
Not blaming the patient. It's a better way to cope with anxiety than go through heart attack, panic attacks or crying nonstop i suppose. Wait till i have to do Another extraction of the Same 10-year-old traumatized child patient tomorrow. Now that, is worrying.
i admit that i admire serena. i always preferred her to win, to be the queen, to get the guy, to be happy.
perhaps because sometimes i see some part of me in her. someone who is carefree and happy-go-lucky. and tries to be there to offer advice or lend a shoulder to cry on. someone who knows her mistakes. and learnt what's right and what's wrong. someone who tries to change. tries to be better. someone who wants nothing to do with all the current messy stuff and ugly pasts and tries to lead a happy life with a decent guy. and wants the guy to accept her for who she really is, including her flaws. someone who is always, always trying to patch things up and make things right for herself or others. willing to stoop down low enough to say sorry and apologize again and again, although the blame is not hers, but his, or hers, or theirs. someone who's always ignored or turned away from because they are not willing to listen to any explanations. always scolded and given the cold shoulder for things she did not do. always suffering from consequences outside of her control, just because she is who she is. someone who meant well but just didn't show it, or couldn't.
serena showed concern, was apologetic and tried to fix things before they get out of hand. once again, she was blamed, told off and ignored.
then she realized perhaps there's no point of being so nice. if no matter how hard u try to change and ppl Still treat u like how u don't want to be, y fight back? bitchy u want, bitchy u get.
ya.. i see similarities between serena and i. perhaps not the bitchy part. not yet.
-little J: It's better to be ignored than tortured. i cant agree with u more-
i have been told again and again.. Don't pose or smile for the camera! Be natural!
Why??? cause i look Better if i am not posing! urghhh.. usually ppl look Better when they smile, but i look better candid?? Really?
Trial 1: Candid from Front Venue: Dina's place
all smiles, and someone was in awe.. (hehe..)
candid! caught talking to fatiha.. look better meh? i think my face sharper at that angle..
Trial 2: Candid from Side Venue: David's Place
all smiles again.
candid. side-view. i have no comment, who took this???
Trial 3: Candid of the Same Pose. Minus all other factors. Venue: Ciao! Ice cream
i must say.. the version in the mirror looks better!! argh.. i think my cheek is too fat or something.. i always look horrible in photos! (which explains y i don upload photos into facebook or friendster, or change my msn pic!.. *oops confession!*) all these while when ppl tell me i look nice today and i look in the mirror i go 'Ha? Where got?' .. could it Possibly mean that we were looking at 2 different faces?? saddening to be unphotogenic. i wana see a nicer side of me as well.
I have to see my orthodontics tutor to discuss my proposal for electives. So i have to read up on orthodontics and orthognathic surgeries etc.
I have a seminar and a clinical session with my prosthodontics tutor. He grilled me good in front of my patient during my last session with him. Since i value my life i have to read up on dentures, crowns and etc.
I have to prepare an oral surgery presentation with my groupmate. So i have to read up and write about tooth extractions, from start to end, with no prior teachings.
Things to read tonight: Orthodontics. Dentures. Extractions.
And guess what, NONE of them are coming out for my November finals examinations!
So what is coming out for exams, u ask? ..diabetes, haematology, renal, dermatology, cardiovascular, respiratory, GI, head & neck, infections, hepatology, autoimmune, orthopaedics, oncology, neurology, paediatrics, medical emergencies, psychiatry.. and osce of cranial nerve examination, venepuncture, taking blood pressure, pulse, blood sample, CPR etc..
and there's a A&E report to do in October after 1 week of A&E in newham hospital till 10PM??? (+_+)
Kinda make me wonder.. how many courses am i taking in uni? One? or Two? (@_@')
Friday night we had a housewarming in david's place at Wexford Hse. Warm welcome by a lift which some1 pee-d in, making us hold our breaths from G to 4th Flr. There were lots of snacks, junk food and of coz, drinks (alc and non-alc). No games, mostly chitty chatty, camera-hiding and handycaming and then the place gradually transformed into a dancefloor with more than 5Djs, making each song played for 20 secs the most. Musics off after midnight or so due to angry neighbours on the 1st floor (whereas we r on the 4th.. Hmm). Dont remember what happened after that coz i dozed off.
Saturday night, housewarming + masquerade party Gossip Girls style at eric's place, Colstead Hse.
There's bbq non-halal food and halal briyani+chicken, with snacks and drinks as well. A few neighbours came over thinking there's a fire, and the last old lady demanded fresh air so the fire was put out. Another socializing time with more eating, photo-taking and also checking out the new place. Masks were off by 12am. Then the party subsided. What happened after that i also dunno coz i dozed off.
Two housewarmings, one weekend, and one busy week coming up. Better start resting.. or i will doze off. again.
on wednesday night the gals were out and about again.. this time at a japanese restaurant, Benihana in piccadilly circus for yi lun's 22nd birthday.
7-course meal for £18: onion soup, salad with ginger dressing, hinari veges, 3 sushi, hinari rice and a choice of 2 proteins: i had salmon and black cod, there's ash's prawns and black cod as well.
the bloggers were in action once again.. *click click*
our chef for the night.. he was always impressing us.. or Trying to impress us, throwing salt and pepper shakers around and creating fire here and there..
here's Mount Fuji (according to him)
he fried the rice into a heart as well.. how sweet~ this guy's really for the ladies!
and he wants to show off his throwing-into-ppl's-mouth-skill.. i think he's not bad, just that the girls dont have such a big mouth.. or they dont know how to use it.. i know a few guys who would just Love to catch the food by mouth.. they do that ALL the name (not gonna mention names..)
frying and de-tailing the prawns.. (if u are bored watching, at least stream till the last 5 secs and watch ashie.. only watch when Not Fasting.. keke)
a few more random additions: yi lun's banana cheesecake by her best fren yin hui papa beard's cream puff! (menaka ash and i gobbled them up Before the dinner!!) overexcited yinhui at costa at 10pm fatiha and i 'buying' things at costa .. hehe..
~the girls having a great time~ our next date? Agenda : SHOPPING - Day : Saturday - Venue : Oxford St
i was having this conversation saying What's the point when everything is lost?
unexpectedly i received the cliché that i would normally give to other ppl:
It is better to have love and lost then not love at all..
damn. its so easy to give that to others but when i got it myself, i start to doubt it. how come it doesn't seem so consoling or assuring as it used to be..
Perhaps.. if u lost whoever u first loved, then it makes sense, coz it's never yours to start with (yet another cliché)..
But what If u've lost Much More than that, what happens whilst in all that..
u've lost faith and diverted from ur path with God u've lost hold of your reason of living u've lost grip of reality, trying to live a dream that is impossible u've lost touch of all those love ones u've ignored u've lost everyone who were directly or indirectly hurt u've lost ppl's trust in you, and ur trust in ppl u've lost confidence in everything you do u've lost hope, dreams and even that sincere innocent smile u used to share
worst of all, u've lost urself..
living in a new person who u don't recognize, in an environment u r not familliar with..
would the dark secrets, painful experiences and bitter memories that were gained be worth it then?
and all that's left, is a remaining speck of willpower and strength to try to gain back at least a tiny portion of what is lost.. to start anew..
It is better to have love and lost then not love at all..
that's a comparison actually, to love and lost is Better Than not love at all..
in that case, i would say it depends on whether the person u love, is Worth it or not (u can love everyone for all i care) .. is that person worth falling head over heels for, worth the risk of losing everything for, worth losing urself in her/him..
.. cause if its not worth it, its really, really, better not to love at all..
please dont tell me everything is wonderful now
~u and me, we used to be together, everyday together always... i really feelll that i'm losing my best fren, i cant believe this could be the end.. it looks as though u're letting go, and if its real well i dont want to know... Dont Speak, i know just what u're saying, so pls stop explaining, dont tell me coz it hurts.. Dont Speak, i know wad u're thinking, i dont need ur reasons, dont tell me coz it hurts.. our memories, they can be inviting, but some are altogether mighty frightening.. as we die, both u and i, with my head in my hands, i sit and cry.. It's all ending, i gotta stop pretending who we are.. You and me..i can see us dying..are we?..~
here's a pic of the yummilicious (and spicy coz i bit into a chilli and fried my tongue and lips etc..) Thai food i had last Saturday night.. four of us shared 8 dishes and it costs us 10 pounds each! of coz after 50% discount..
the seniors i dined with
and then i crashed another party 30mins bus+15 mins walk away in heels.. (yes i am That determined, for u, ashie!!) at a Malaysian restaurant for ash's Pre-birthday dinner.. just in time for dessert!
Sunday night it was Girl's night, we had potluck (and the food was Superb coz our chefs are all crème de la crème.. so it explains that i didn't cook anything..) at a private venue Not in whitechapel.. (no photographs of people or what we did that night cause its strictly confidential.. girls night ma..)
i had a gloomy start in london, arriving on a monday afternoon and having to auto-switch to clinics/lectures mode without a day to settle down and breath, not a friendly smile whole week.. but the week ended well with good food and good company, and most importantly, realization, a new attitude and a change of perspective. that not only changed my weekend, it changed everything.
i was reading the thelondonpaper last Friday when they featured this lady.. looking abit old and very ordinary..
its only when i read on.. and saw the pic in the corner then i realized who she is.. Eva Longoria??? NOOOO.. it can't be.. But the inset picture is So Her!! cute young and (in desperate housewives) sexy as well.. How do these paparazzis recognise celebs withouT make up????
are u Sure that person without make up is eva??
she didnt look That bad in this shot.. the 1st pic above was scarier.. the wonders of make up..
I just realized yesterday that i was tagged by this super junior melissa in her blog on 9 Sept so here it goes (why did u tag me??????????)
The Wedding TagThis is a survey about your dream wedding, Whether it be in the next year or after ten years.So, please answer after you read, the person whoanswered this before you took a great deal of effort.This is going to be fun.
1. How old are you? 23.. in 1+months time.
2. Are you single? i like this answer of melissa's coz it relates to me as well: of course, terikat oleh perjanjian, hak milik kerajaan (in English: JPA-bounded)
3. In what age do you think you’ll get married? there's always the saying that goes 'when the right person comes along' or 'when the right time comes' but if u want figures, 27? like my brother actually.
4. Do you think you’ll be marrying the person you are with now? no. cause i am with noone.
5. If not, who do you want to marry? son of any Royal family. but seriously, i want to know the answer myself.
6. Do you want a garden/beach wedding, or the traditional church wedding? how about a wedding reception in a garden moving on to a church wedding at the beach?
7. Your ideal motif? floral, pink and white.
8. Where do you plan to go on a honeymoon? unfortunately it seems that i've already Been to where i Planned to go b4.. but i would like to stay at Dubai's 7star hotel at night.
9. How many guests do you think you’ll invite? many, definitely.
10. Do you want an extravagant or a simple wedding? a simple type of extravagant wedding
11. Do you want the traditional vows or something you’d make up on your own? making up my own would be fun, unfortunately not for the groom.
12. How many layers of cake do you want to have? 3?
13. Do you prefer having your reception at a hotel or at a simple place?
garden, like i said b4
14. When do you want to get married, evening or morning?
morning. then i've have the wedding dinner at night too.
15. You’d rather have your reception outdoors or indoors?
outdoors, In the garden. duh.
16. Do you like a grand entrance for your groom?
does he need one? if he wants it he can have it.
17. Name the song/tune you’d like played at your wedding.
i can't think now, need to discuss with the future hubby too. something slow and romantic.
18. Are you a morning person or a night person?
51% morning 49% night. and the % interchanges everyday.
19. Do you want a solemn ceremony or a light one?
20. Describe your ideal husband.
honestly he won't exist, but when i find him he will b ideal regardless. but it wud b great if he's faithful, independent, loving, understand, outgoing, funny and all those nilai morals.
21. Do you prefer fine dining or just the normal spoon & fork/knife?
depends what i can afford, if not finger food also can la.
22. Champagne or red wine?
juice? fine fine, champagne then. red wine for dinner.
23. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
right after would be nice.
24. Money or household items?
who doesn't want money?
25. Who will pay for the bills?
haha good question. we'll share, just depends how fair we split.. *evil laughs*
26. Are you ready for married life?
no way. i am not ready for a relationship life even.
27. Do you think you will still be a virgin until you get married?
is my hubby a virgin himself? *feminist helen reacting*
28. Will you always be true to your wife/husband?
without a doubt.
29. How many kids do you want?
again its not only my decision but at least 3.
Alrightly, now it's My turn to tag, i tag: stefanie, pei pei, xin yi, pei lian, eric, ashiebee, yin hui, eve lee, sarah marilyn, mei lin, pei kee, noreen ooi (how many can i tag?? anyway i wana tag more but everyone else doesn't blog!!)
Perhaps people are selfish. I'll tend to say its all about them cause all they question is.. 'why u do this to ME? why he hurt ME? why she say those things to ME? why they dont care about ME? why all these things happen to ME? how about ME?'
..me me me me me me..
and then i come to realise, Who else if not Me? probably that was my mistake to start with, when u start to care about someone else more than u care about urself, that's when everything goes wrong.
i was watching the new season of Gossip Girls, and i realized perhaps thats how the cruel world really works. u just got to think of yourself and save your own ass. unfortunately in that series it involves using other people, scheming all kind of lies, sleeping with your best friend's guy/girl, doing whatever it takes to hurt others or drown ur own sorrows, scandals everywhere.. sometimes i feel like i can connect with them at some level, the only difference is i have black hair. and no supermodel figure. (perhaps IF i am a blonde or brunette and have a supermodel figure i Can sleep with best friends' bfs, but i'll hold that thought first)
and all the rotten things that are happening? its really beyond ur control.
i can't control what people do to me.
i can't control what people say to me.
i can't control what people think about me. or feel about me. or how they treat me.
but i can control me. what i do to them. or say to them. or think about them, feel about them or how i treat them.
that goes to say not all is lost.
i m sick of the sayings life goes on, just face it, live with it, move on, give it time, time will heal and whatever, i heard all these again and again till its meaningless. they all go into the same catergory as 'diet diet' and 'must study'. Life goes on? This Is my life, i am Living it now. This is the Present. Why do i have to wait for like 3 months down the line? thats a waste of 3 months x 30days x 24hours x 60mins x 60secs.. and to what expense? in the end it is still my lost.
perhaps its just that i am seeing things wrongly. i have to stop seeing it from other peoples perspective, and worry about what they do and how they feel. i have to start seeing it from mine.
..me me me me me me..
i suppose being selfish is good. it protects u from being so vulnerable and easily hurt.
perhaps i have gone crazy. perhaps i am being overemotional. but whatever it is, i guess, its Just Me.
the battle is lost, but the war is still on.. and the fight continues to the very last breath..
today i saw my paediatrics patient for a review. i told him it would be quick (review only ma..) since he wanted to go back to school in 15 mins.
instead, i had to do an extraction on my own. under a new tutor. and it was my first extraction on a child.
to make a long story short, i traumatized him, and with his tears, shivers, hands about to hold mine, screams and cries of pain and shaky legs, he traumatized me too.. -what a vicious cycle-
my new tutor was not impressed, he took over almost immediately. so much for making a good 1st day impression. after it was over, he was always certain the poor 10-year-old wouldn't return for his next two extractions.
the tutor's tip for me? ..dont let it get into u..
uh huh.. i even feeeel the pain if someone is to Stare at me sharply, or Totally ignored me.. so Now penetrating a needle deep into someone causing him to wail and scream in such pain shouldn't get into me..hmmmm
funny how the tutor's tip seemed to be relevant in other aspects as well..
let me just carry on where i left off before.. (its hard to get into blogging mode once u realize how horrible ur mood is, how muc u rather be home, how messy ur room is, how much to study for finals, how many reports to do thats due very very soon, how many requirements still not met, how hungry and sleepy u get at odd hours, how many pimples u have and how fat u become.)
well, u know in KLIA international departure u have to go down the escalator, leaving ur love ones on the upper floor waving back.. this was the last i saw of my parents that sunday..
*mummy daddy and every1 in kch, i miss u all so much! save me from london!!*
the flight to Colombo, Sri Lanka took a few hours only.. and one thing that i notice in once i reach colombo is all the benteng2.. where the solder, military ppl hide behind, those walls or bags of sand.. (i dunno wads the name and i can't bother to answers.com it ..)
the last 2 pics were taken while in the van so its moving.. but along the roads u will see many of these soldiers with big guns (Not SLR cameras like guys in london) behind walls of bags of sand.. even when going to the airport also got checkpoint with police at the road..
random video of colombo from the van, u don hav to watch the full clip.. in some sense reminds me as if i m on the way to KMB, banting passing through dengkil..
the hotel i am transiting in.. not bad.. and its FOC
the beach it overlooks.. we just walk out of the hotel and straight away is the beach..
and many random jelly fishes!!
just some jelly fishes i took pics of..
jelly fish really fascinated me at that moment coz my beaches in kch doesnt have any, just crabs and shells..
my camera not as power as most ppl so this is my best shot of the beach
u get random statues along the way as well..
some of them do get washed away..
a video of eric fighting the strong waves
and buffet dinner .. yummm
the hotel sight at 4am, where we were waiting for the bus til 5am for our 7am flight..
my tips of colombo?
1. i think u have to bring some small change, coz at every opportunity they would be super extra friendly and helpful (and u have no choice but to giv in to their service coz they force their way in) then they would keep nagging u for a tip, regardless in What currency.. and once i tell them i have no money to pay up they look at u like one kind..
2. when overnight transiting, bring extra change of clothes, esp undergarment. and toiletries. or wadever u cant live without before u sleep and after u wake up. basic stuff but ppl do forget. my must-haves? shorts and slippers. and i got it right this time coz we were at the beach.
3. u always find ppl approaching u to sell stuff like headscarfs or souvenirs or whatever.. i think i got approached more than 5 times at the beach, even a lady come chat2 with me for a few minutes then start selling things saying 'pls pls, my daughter made this, very nice bla bla..' only when eric resurfaced from the sea then they all left.. (some magical power this sea creature has..)
4. if ppl were to ask me How's Colombo?, i must say, Super Friendly.. the security guard to open gate, or to scan luggage or check in etc, or those random ppl in the hotel or walking by the beaches all say Hello Hello and smile smile smile.. and i felt many random stares (from men And women.. )
however, try asking eric that, i bet he begs to differ.
in short, be careful in colombo, if u r a girl and not sri lankan.. be it chinese angmo wadever. pls don't go around alone.
5. watch what u eat. it's not nice rushing to the toilet 3 times during dinner, 3 times while sleeping and 3 times right after u wake up WHILE transiting on a long-journey flight, let alone the flight itself. not nice at all. i must add medicine in my must-have-while-travel list now.
6. and always, always be careful with ur stuff.. sometimes i wonder if ppl r really extra nice or just wanting a big tip, but its not worth the risk.. probably thats the thing about 3rd world countries when i keep thinking Everyone is out There to Steal my stuff.. most probably angmo think that of msia as well..
it feels exactly like i've just arrived here on 16 September 2005 as a fresher staying at Varey House, Mile End. the only difference is i have a 3rd year final examination in exactly 2 months.. *yes, i am in deep shit, i acknowledge that*
its odd to feel like this in a place once so warm, so familiar and welcoming. it's as if 3 years had just disappeared, and this is the real thing.
the people i used to mix with everyday, or every other day, probably every weekend, just goes out of sight, maybe everyone is back in their own worlds once again.. its as if i never mixed with everyone at the first place like i am in the 1st year.. even talking to people makes me feel like i've just met them with nothing to say..
feeling empty, homesick and lonely, with nothing to look forward to, nothing to expect and burdens to carry.. negative feelings seem to linger from the past..
maybe i am thinking too much, but what else is there to think when u r awake at 4am, rolling in bed starving at 5am knowing that back in Malaysia i would be having chicken rice and soya bean for lunch and going to the cinema and having ABC with ol' friends after that.. but now i am just wondering how to arrange my junk, looking at argos catalogues on what i need to buy, just started making a grocery shopping list although i have been here 2 days now, worrying about bank details and addresses and wondering where to travel for the holidays.. feels like 1st year, right?
maybe i haven't got used to my new room, there used to be a construction site outside my tiny window for the past 2 years but now its green outside with a huge window, exactly like my room back in 1st year..
maybe i've returned at the wrong time (on a weekday) where everyone is just busy..
or maybe i just need to keep myself busy. hard to adjust after 5 weeks of complete slacking like a queen, sleeping and eating.
blogging at 6am isn't healthy.
whatever it is, i need to snap out of this asap. starting of the year with bad vibes and negative thoughts isn't the way to start.
i shall continue on my brother's wedding dinner at Crowne Plaza, Riverside Hilton, 6.30pm.
one of the photos of a slideshow.. is this the romantic proposal by the beach that the girl couldn't resist?
the setting of the 40-table dinner.. well, guests get the white table cloth and white chairs etc..
but We VIPs get the grand table just in front of the stage.. hebat ehhh......
gold somemore.. notice the tall wedding cake at the back, and those 2 ice statue swans glowing so brightly ..
got gold table mat.. even the garlic and chillis got little tables of their own.. best best, i nvr become VIP before..
the menu for the night..
the slideshow of the newly wedded.. (of my fav chinese song!!) nice ho? i also wannnnn...
the food.. one thing about being a VIP, the food is already divided into mini portions for each person, unlike the usual big dish right in the middle of the table and everyone takes a turn to grab a portion.. good for dieting i suppose.. the more expensiv it is, the lesser the portion.. as usual..
some of the performances by my cousins and church goers.. and the MCs as well..
cutting the 5 tier wedding cake.. tingginyerrrrr..
very pretty cake.. but delicious ka?
popping the champagne bottle then pouring the champagne..
picture of pouring the champagne just before Yam Shenggggggggggggggg... i was on the stage but noone took pic of me! huhu..
then its goodbyes and thankyous to the guests..
a group pic with some of my cousins.. notice the guys behind (who are all Still in secondary school) are at least One Head above me.. and not to forget i am already wearing 4" stilettos.. *grumbles* as for the girls? still in primary school or sec 1-2.. also can beat me liao.. *grumblesssss* memang my family genes tall tall one ba.. dunno y i didn get the full set of genes.. *grumblesssssssss* consolation to self: more choices of average-height guys to date
a final photo of me and stef again with the arch of roses..
my final say is.. lovely wedding, great dinner and entertainment.. with the standard set so high, i also pressured..
now to carry on with life as part of a 5-member family.. back to packing for uk as the happy couple off to honeymoon liao..